In Pursuit of Fulfillment | #1
Through mastery of self, flourishing personal relationships, integration with the community, and contribution to our world.
Friday, February 26, 2021 - Playa del Carmen, Mexico
Hello and welcome to the first edition of Humble Minds!
I'm thrilled to be sharing this newsletter with you and even happier that you've decided to read it. It's been a long time coming.
As many of you know, I spent the last few years living internationally while working as an actuary. First in Dublin, then in Madrid, and finally in Gran Canaria.
When I first left Boston, I left in search of understanding.
Understanding of myself and of those I interact with. Understanding of the many cultures of the world and of the impact I wanted to have on it. There was nothing wrong with Boston, but I knew there was more out there.
Along the journey, a surprising phenomenon emerged. The more I learned, the more questions I had. There are more of them now than ever. Yet from these questions arose a common theme.
Fulfillment. This is what I want out of life. I believe this is what everyone wants.
We talk of money. We talk of happiness. We talk of relationships, community, and contribution. These things play a role in living a fulfilling life, but none of them guarantee it.
I’m not claiming to have the map. I claim to be in pursuit. I am on the journey to live a fulfilling life, and that journey is a daily one of learning. It requires a humble mind.
As such, I've decided to start a newsletter titled Humble Minds.
What will Humble Minds cover?
Humble Minds is designed to start a conversation and build a community of like-minded people in pursuit of a fulfilling life. I’m hoping we can learn from each other.
So, what do I believe is important in the pursuit of fulfillment? It’s tied to those same questions I had when I left Boston years ago.
Mastery of Self
Flourishing Personal Relationships
Integration in Community and Culture
Contribution to Our World
I know, that sounds very broad. It is. Living a fulfilling life isn’t easy. We have to hit it from all angles.
It starts with Mastery of Self. This includes physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional harmony. We must be whole, and we must act coherently across all components of our being. Only with that can we hope to interact well with others.
Humans are social animals. We share 98.8% of our DNA with chimps and bonobos. The difference in the social behaviors between chimps and bonobos is a topic for another time, but they are undoubtedly social. So are we. Familial relationships, friendships, and intimate relationships all deserve considerable attention.
Yet, our interactions are often much broader. We organize ourselves into communities of all different forms and sizes. Think social networks, religions, and corporations. They serve as our vehicles to form connections, establish order, and drive growth. Through them, we build cultures.
Lastly, we are faced with one of the more important questions of our lives. How will we leave our mark on the world? This requires a focus not only on finding purpose but also on ensuring we have the resources and methods necessary to execute our vision.
It’s natural to think of these in a step-by-step process. However, I find that they constantly influence each other and work in tandem to determine our satisfaction in life.
That is the unifying theme of Humble Minds. It will focus on everything that impacts our ability to live a fulfilling life and hopefully help us do just that.
If you are interested in these types of topics, please sign up for the newsletter. If you’re already signed up, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the post!
Life is Good
I’ve been living in Playa del Carmen for 6 weeks now. Below is my pool where I typically write.
If you’re living in a strict lockdown right now, remember this is always one flight away.
Abandoning the Standard Path
I’m a fully credentialed actuary by trade. Actuary jobs pay well. The hours aren’t too demanding, and the opportunities are plentiful.
Yet I’m putting that on hold.
Am I crazy? Many people I’ve talked to seem to think so. I don’t see it that way.
I’ve rationalized my actions in two ways.
Confronting my fear of failure head-on.
Accepting that I am an imposter.
That’s right, I’m an imposter, and I’m OK with it.
Below I’ll walk through my thought process. Hopefully, it will be useful for anyone else thinking about doing something outside the standard path.
Overcoming Fear of Failure
I’ve talked about writing for a long time. Fear of failure has always held me back. I give a lot of credit to Tim Ferriss and his approach to fear-setting in overcoming that fear.
Fear-Setting Process
Define your goal. This isn’t part of the fear-setting process, but it’s clearly necessary. I’ll save this step for another edition of Humble Minds.
Clearly state why you want to accomplish your goal. Again, a topic for another time.
Define your fear. Imagine the worst-case scenario if everything goes horribly wrong. This is your fear. Don’t hold back here. List all of the things you are scared of. It doesn’t matter how farfetched they are.
Understand your fear. How likely is it to happen? What is the time horizon that the effects would take place over? How bad is this worst-case scenario really, on a scale of 1 to 10?
Set a mitigation plan. These are actions you can take to get out of the worst-case scenario defined above. Be creative here. Don’t limit yourself to activities you’ve done previously. I’ll discuss this in more detail below.
Define the consequences of inaction. This includes financial, physical, and emotional costs. Far too often, we only consider the costs of making a change and ignore the costs of doing nothing. For me, inaction results in the feeling that I left life on the table. Do I really want to be lying on my deathbed thinking that I played it safe?
There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long range of risks of comfortable inaction. - John F. Kennedy
Define the other possible outcomes from taking action and their associated benefits. There will be a number of these. Give a rough estimate of their likelihood. Early on, one of the benefits is a higher tolerance for risk and vulnerability. As we take action, our comfort zone expands, and over time we become capable of nearly anything.
Decide to take action. Realize fully that the benefits outweigh the risks.
Refuse to wait. After determining the benefits outweigh the risks, my fear often kicks in one last time. No! Not yet! Just a few more months at work, and I’ll have $XX more in my bank account. Then it will be safe to start. Now is not the time to listen to this fear. Make a list of the costs of waiting, just like you did with the costs of inaction. Then refuse to wait.
Do it now. Take the first small step towards your goal immediately. It is remarkable how quickly fear can set back in. Don’t let that happen. Make the step small enough so that it can be completed in one sitting and build some momentum.
Creativity in Mitigating Actions
Defining our fear is easy. I often struggle with defining mitigating actions.
My first few ideas aren’t creative enough.
To brainstorm more creative mitigating actions, it is critical to keep two things in mind.
We will learn new skills as we pursue our goals.
The world will need new skills and solutions in the future.
Always be Learning
Considering the first point, it is common to consider mitigating actions that use our current skill set.
I was a double major in math and finance. When I consider my new writing career's potential failure, the first mitigating actions that come to mind are analytical in nature. This is my comfort zone.
Yet by writing this newsletter weekly, I will become a better writer. After a year or two, I will likely be a much better writer. The vast majority of jobs require strong writing skills.
Committing to improving my writing as I chase my new goal will open up doors I hadn’t considered previously.
Take Mattew McConaughey’s approach, but shorten the time horizon. What new skills will you have if you take deliberate action towards your goal for 6 months? 1 year? 3 years?
Now let’s put these lessons into action.
Write down the new skills you will learn while pursuing your goal.
Do a quick job search with those new skills in mind. You’ll find a whole new set of opportunities available to you.
As you take action towards your goal, take the opportunity to build a new skill strategically. I’ll cover off my technique for learning something new in a separate edition of Humble Minds.
Society’s Needs Continue to Shift
The second trap for coming up with creative mitigating actions is limiting ideas to solutions the world needed in the past.
If 2020 taught me anything, it’s just how unpredictable the future is. Technology has been changing at an exponential rate for years. The pandemic resulted in an additional step change.
This amount of change paralyzes many. I find it liberating. Fundamental change means new solutions are required. New solutions require new skill sets.
Consider the Future of Jobs Report from the World Economic Forum from 2018 and 2020. Below we can see the most desired skills from each report.
I have three key observations.
Problem-solving type skills remain at the top, but they are decreasing in importance.
New technology skills are emerging.
Soft skills associated with an entrepreneurial mindset are more in-demand.
I was initially surprised to see that problem-solving skills are dropping in importance. Yet as machine learning and AI improve, it makes sense that less of the analytical workload will fall on humans.
Following that trend, someone needs to know how to use these new technologies. That may sound intimidating at first, but it is really an opportunity for all of us. The tools we will use over the coming decade are being invented now. All we have to do is learn how to use them, and we are quickly employable.
Finally, and most interesting for anyone who wants to get out of the rat race, is the ever-increasing demand for people with an entrepreneurial spirit.
Leaders, adapters, and lifelong learners.
Do you think you build those skills better in a 9 to 5 or by carving your own path?
We are All Imposters
The last thing to overcome before embarking on a new challenge is Imposter Syndrome.
Impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud. - Pyschotherapy
Imposter syndrome affects almost everyone, but it is more prevalent in women and minorities. It can manifest itself in many ways.
Perfectionism
Overworking to the point of burnout
Focusing only on “natural abilities” and staying in the comfort zone
Refusing help and cooperation
Studying or planning instead of taking action
Many of us suffer from a combination of these. I know I do.
I pursued mathematics because I thought that was where my natural abilities were. Then I worked myself to the point of burnout to overcome the feeling that I wasn’t as technically gifted as my peers. I planned how to write this newsletter for weeks as opposed to just writing it.
The reality is that we are all imposters. Think of anything you have ever done. Did you know how to do it well when you started? Did you show up as an expert?
No way. You started doing it because you liked it and then got better over time. The best way to learn is by doing. Michael Jordan didn’t become a great basketball player by playing squash.
He played basketball. Every damn day.
I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. - Michael Jordan
So yes, I am an imposter. I’m not the best writer out there. But I enjoy it, and I’m committed to getting better.
Here are some quick tips that help me overcome imposter syndrome.
Write down a list of prior accomplishments. Now think about your first time doing each thing. I bet you were clueless.
Write the skills down you think you need to achieve your goal, then identify where you previously exhibited these skills.
Break the goal down into very small tasks and start the first one immediately.
Make a list of people you can learn from in your field. Set a meeting with them for a week in the future and force yourself to have intelligent questions prepared.
What do you wish you were better at? It’s time you started doing it.
That’s all for this week.
Stay humble, and keep pursuing fulfillment.
-Alex
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